"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma's so poor, she goes to KFC and licks other people's fingers!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 2 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma's so stupid, she tripped over her cordless phone!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 3 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma's so stupid, she gave your uncle a blowjob to help his unemployment!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 4 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma's so fat, I saw the back of her neck and thought I was in a library!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 5 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into Taco Bell everyone runs for the border!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 6 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma's so fat she's protected by Green Peace!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 7 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma's so fat she uses a VCR for a pager!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 8 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma's so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 9 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma's like a doorknob: everyone gets a turn "
EXIT
END
IF rand = 10 THEN DO
"SAY / kick "nick" I saw your momma kicking a can down the street. I asked her what she was doin and she said 'movin!' "
EXIT
END
IF rand = 11 THEN DO
"SAY / kick "nick" Yo momma's so stupid she sold her car for gas money!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 12 THEN DO
"SAY /kick $C "nick" Yo momma's so fat her nickname is DAMN!!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 13 THEN DO
"SAY /kick $C "nick" Yo momma's so ugly, animals at the zoo feed her!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 14 THEN DO
"SAY /kick $C "nick" Yo momma's so stupid, she went around telling all her friends that her husband was important when he couldn't get it up "
EXIT
END
/* Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes, rec.humor */
/* >>: In article <CFE26H.5EB@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>, fraggle@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Fraggle Rock) writes: */
IF rand = 15 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" YO MAMA is so fat that when she went to the beach, Greenpeace tried to drag her fat ass back into the ocean."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 16 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo mama's ass is so fat that when she backs up, it makes BEEP BEEP noises!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 17 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo mama is so fat she has to wear two watches 'cause she's in two : different time zones."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 18 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" I would have been your father but the damn dog beat me over the fence!"
EXIT
END
/* From: Gary_Harfield@vos.stratus.com */
/* Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes */
/* =-> SO FAT, */
IF rand = 19 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN""
EXIT
END
IF rand = 20 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 21 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 22 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her..."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 23 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 24 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 25 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 26 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 27 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "Taxi!""
EXIT
END
IF rand = 28 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 29 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 30 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 31 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn""
EXIT
END
IF rand = 32 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 33 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 34 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 35 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 36 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 37 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 38 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 39 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 40 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 41 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 42 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitches good side!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 43 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 44 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 45 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 46 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 47 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 48 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 49 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 50 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 51 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 52 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 53 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 54 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 55 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she walks."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 56 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 57 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, 'Who threw that rock?'"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 58 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 59 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 60 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 61 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet."
EXIT
END
/* =-> SO STUPID, */
IF rand = 62 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 63 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 sign, she went home and got 16 friends"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 64 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 65 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 66 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 67 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 68 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 69 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 70 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 71 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 72 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 73 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911""
EXIT
END
IF rand = 74 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K.""
EXIT
END
IF rand = 75 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 76 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 77 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 78 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 79 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 80 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, 'Sex?', she marked, 'M, F and sometimes Wednesday too.'"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 81 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 82 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 83 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 84 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 85 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 86 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Huked on Fonics.""
EXIT
END
IF rand = 87 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 88 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 89 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes."
EXIT
END
/* =-> SO UGLY, */
IF rand = 90 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said 'Sorry, no professionals.'"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 91 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 92 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said 'What a treasure!' and her father said 'Yes, let's go bury it.'"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 93 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 94 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly they filmed 'Gorillas in the Mist' in her shower"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 95 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 96 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 97 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 98 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 99 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 100 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say 'Damn, is it Halloween already?'"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 101 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 102 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 103 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 104 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 105 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours... for a quote!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 106 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 107 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 108 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 109 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 110 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 111 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye."
EXIT
END
/* =-> SO OLD, */
IF rand = 112 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 113 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 114 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so old her social security number is 1!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 115 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 116 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 117 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 118 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 119 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 120 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 121 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so old she owes Jesus a nickel."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 122 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 123 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 124 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 125 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade."
EXIT
END
/* =-> SO POOR, */
IF rand = 126 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said 'Moving.'"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 127 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 128 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 129 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 130 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!""
EXIT
END
IF rand = 131 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 132 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 133 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 134 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, 'What ya doin'?' She said, 'Buying luggage.'"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 135 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning."
EXIT
END
/* =-> SO SHORT, */
IF rand = 136 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so short she poses for trophies!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 137 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 138 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime."
EXIT
END
/* =-> SO NASTY */
IF rand = 139 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 140 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 141 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so nasty she made speed stick slow down."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 142 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so nasty she brings crabs to the beach"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 143 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so nasty she made right guard turn left."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 144 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 145 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 146 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so nasty that her shit is glad to escape."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 147 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection."
EXIT
END
/* =-> IS LIKE, */
IF rand = 148 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 149 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up! "
EXIT
END
IF rand = 150 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 151 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 152 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 153 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 154 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 155 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 156 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like a shotgun: one cock and she blows!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 157 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 158 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 159 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like cake mix, 15 servings per package!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 160 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 161 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 162 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like a Toyota: 'Oh what a feelin'!'"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 163 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!""
EXIT
END
IF rand = 164 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 165 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma like chinese food: sour and cheap!"
EXIT
END
/* =-> SO HAIRY, */
IF rand = 166 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 167 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so hairy she's got afros on her nipples!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 168 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so hairy she look like she got Buckwheat in a headlock."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 169 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!"
EXIT
END
/* =-> SO SLUTTY, */
IF rand = 170 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so slutty she could suck-start a Harley!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 171 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 172 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so slutty when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 173 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so slutty she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said 'breakfast of the champs'"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 174 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 175 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so slutty she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 176 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so slutty that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 177 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so slutty she blind and seeing another man."
EXIT
END
/* =-> MISC, */
IF rand = 178 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 179 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so greasy she sweats Crisco!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 180 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 181 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 182 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma teeth are so yellow she spits butter!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 183 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 184 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 185 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so bald you can see whats on her mind"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 186 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 187 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so flat she's jealous of the wall!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 188 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 189 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 190 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 191 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 192 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma wears knee-pads and yells "Curb Service!""
EXIT
END
IF rand = 193 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 194 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma aint so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 195 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 196 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" It took yo momma 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used to the front seat!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 197 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" You were born out of your mother's ass 'cos her cunt was too busy."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 198 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma so wrinkled, she can to screw her hat on."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 199 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma twice the man you are."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 200 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 201 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma is missing a finger and can't count past 9."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 202 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" If my dog had a face as ugly as your momma's, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 203 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 204 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck."
EXIT
END
/* =-> HOUSE SO SMALL, */
IF rand = 206 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 207 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma house so small you have to go outside to change your mind."
EXIT
END
IF rand = 208 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies!"
EXIT
END
IF rand = 209 THEN DO
"SAY /kick "channel nick" Yo momma house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside."
